Yes, it's a little busy around here. I worked late every day this week except for one. That day I planned to leave early and then twenty minutes before I was scheduled to go home, the power went out. You know, while we had visitors. Thankfully, it wasn't too busy and, like always, no one seemed to mind that the power was out.
Now that I have a car again, I have finally started my shopping with what little money I have left (Have I mentioned I'm broke? For real, people. I don't know how people afford cars. Or houses. Or anything more expensive than rent). I have half of Patti's present, half of Kristen's present, 3/4 of Joe's present, almost all of Lucy's dress up trunk and I haven't even started shopping for my Frischmas exchange person, which is very hush hush and all because Jennifer insists that we keep everything totally secret. Except that I know who everyone has because we all have big mouths and those that don't (Jennifer and Auntie Vicki), I figured out by process of elimination. Way to go on the secrets.
Patti and I went shopping for presents on Thursday - which was fruitful, but not as much as I had hoped - and it was totally deserted everywhere because we were in the middle of a horrible wind storm. Of course, we got to the mall right after the power had come back on (we didn't know it was out until the assholes at Toys R Us told us) and had the place almost to ourselves, which would have been much nicer if there was more stuff there that I wanted to buy for people.
(Though, ahem, if any of you are thinking about buying me a present and are stumped, I do totally love the Gap's Project Red shirt that says "TI(RED)" (men's longsleeve, size small). Ahem.)
You know the storm was bad because when we got back to my house, we were confronted by this:
Of course, I took these pictures in the morning because the wind storm was, you know, stormy and dark and I wasn't about to stand in the middle of it to show you the horror of the trees coming down. But still. Crazy. That one that's across the walkway? Yeah, I had to walk under it to get to and from my apartment. I feel bad for my neighbors because with those two trees down, everyone coming down the walkway can see right into their apartments. And it's just not as pretty.
In other news, the one present that I've been working on for the last couple of months is coming along pretty nicely. Lucy's dress up trunk has totally been the community effort - I've gotten items donated from everyone in the department at work, along with everyone in the family and a couple of friends have thrown stuff in. So far, I have:
One pink faux fur wrap
One tutu
Two shirts
One dress
One set of white gloves
Two feathered fans
One parasol
Three wands
Three crowns
Four purses
Four scarves
One set of fairy wings
Three pairs of shoes
Assorted jewelry
I need to find some hats and maybe a couple more dresses and, of course, a trunk or something to put it all in. That's going to be the biggest issue, since I need something that can get from here to Palm Springs and then from there back to Minnesota, but it also has to be cute. If you are in the Portland area and would like to contribute to the trunk, please let me know. So far, Kristen is totally leading the pack with awesome items, but all additions are welcome.
I have also received a number of awesome gifts. Since my dad had me in the exchange and since my two presents were alternately too heavy and too fragile to ship, I got them tonight at family dinner. Check out the new ipod speakers and Heroes of the Torah glasses. Dad totally finds awesome presents. When I thanked him for the speakers, he said, "They have a woofer!" This is one of the many reasons I love my dad. Thanks to his fabulous shopping, I am now listening to a surreal mix of Shakira (in Spanish) and Sloan. This makes for a fabulous Saturday night.
Also, did you people know that Justin Timberlake is hosting SNL tonight? This is a very big deal! Last time, he dressed up like a omelet and danced. And he was a BeeGee! And he was Jessica Simpson! Oh, I love Justin. Joe hates that I love the Justin, but I can't help it. Have you see that boy dance? It's crazy!
While I'm watching Justin, I'm going to clean the house and then give myself a pedicure with the illegal pedicure kit that mom gave me tonight. We're not supposed to get each other presents outside of the exchange, but mom cheats. She's very bad at following the rules. And she steals your bubble wrap when you're not looking and pops it all even though she knows that's your favorite thing about the holidays. Sometimes she's evil.
Alright, I have to start cleaning. I can't clean the floors tonight because it's too late and I don't want to wake the neighbors, but I want to get everything else done tonight because there must be more shopping tomorrow with my no money and probably some painting and I think Joe and I have a holiday party tomorrow night. It's almost like we're social or something. It's insane.
And... cleaning!
Happy holidays! Don't go broke!
Addendum: I forgot! I wanted to leave you with a picture of Al Gore Jr. Jr. and Shifty Penguin. You too could have awesome animal friends like these if you hung out with Kristen. Who doesn't want a shifty penguin? He's lookin' at you!
And by that, I mean there is nothing left in my bank account, yo. For today, I bought a car.
Yes, this is a very grownup thing for me to do and I thought I was going to barf all over the table, contracts, swiveling chairs and especially the check, when I wrote it out, with the many numbers and the zeros and the, for real, do you know how many months' rent are now going into these four wheels that are parked outside of my house?
I think I love my new car, though, so it's okay. I better love it, because I'm going to be paying it off, little by little, for the next twenty four months. That's two years. That's, like, the bank owns part of me until I'm 26. Twenty six! That's a long time!
(Side note: They're making chickpea fries on Iron Chef. Why can't I make those? They look delicious and probably taste like fried hummus delicious. Oh, and now I want hummus, too. Crap.)
So, yeah, I bought a car. I can't stop saying it. "I bought a car." She's a cute little car - yes, she's a girl - though I haven't fully decided on her name yet. Perhaps one day I'll get my shit together and even post a picture of her cute self. Or you could come over and see her. She's right outside, being cute, just waiting for new friends.
(Okay, now they are blending chickpeas with squid ink. That is not as appetizing. Blech.)
Tonight, my car and I will venture downtown and I will attempt to parallel park her in NW Portland on a Saturday night. That's a real test of love there. And tomorrow, we're going to the grocery store and perhaps to a quilting party and maybe out Frischmas shopping with Patti, though, um, I don't know if I have any money for Frischmas presents. Who wants some used DVDs and old Gap sweaters for Frischmas? Anyone? Hello?
Yeah. That's what I thought.
I bought a car. I think I might need to throw up now.
So I've been kind of stressed out for the last couple of months. First, Detroit broke down and I had to cancel the Vancouver trip. Then there was my big event and all the hell leading up to it. And then I decided to sell my car and that, though not the nightmare it could have been, was also very stressful.
This stress has manifested itself in a lot of ways, though the most notable one is physical. I now have some sort of pinched nerve on the right side of my lower back that acts up whenever I'm stressed. As in, I could barely walk the day of my event it hurt so bad and, magically, the next day it was gone. And it stayed gone until I got an offer on my car and realized I now need to find a new car. And then it was back and, again, horrible pain.
To keep myself busy and clear my mind, I've taken up painting. I just posted some pictures of what I've done in the last week. It's almost like I'm creative or something.
Or just stressed out.
I sold Detroit today.
I am very, very sad about this.
Detroit has been an amazing car. He has seen me through all kinds of things - my first campaign, my first campaign win, my second campaign, my first campaign loss, my job at Reed, my job at the Museum, moving into my first apartment, hundreds of bags of groceries, my first speeding ticket, the time I met Bill Clinton and all kinds of other things. When I handed over the keys today, there was no "Whoo, thank God I unloaded that car!" or "Yes! Look at all this cash!" Instead, I turned to the guy who bought it and told him to give the car a good home. He looked at me like I was insane.
In reality, Detroit is going to a good home. The guy who bought the car has a son who just got back from Iraq. The son's wife is pregnant and he's going to give her the car once he's done using it in a couple of months. So Detroit is going to be a family car again and I'm sure he will do an amazing job for them, just like he did for me.
But I'll still miss him.
And now I have to find a new car. Not a replacement, because Detroit can never be replaced. Just a new car.
First, though, I'll be a little sad.
Goodbye Detroit. I'll miss you.
So it's thanksgiving. And I am going to be a lemming and go through all of the things that I'm thankful for...
I am thankful for my family and friends, no matter how crazy they are.
I am thankful for my home and all of the things in it, but mostly that I have a home and that I can heat it.
I am thankful for Joe, since he is a wonderful boyfriend and friend, even though sometimes I have to give him the stink eye because he thinks "quality time" means "tickle Nicole until she pees her pants time."
I am thankful for my job, especially since I get to do something I love and benefit a cause I believe in.
I am thankful for all of the copious amounts of food we had today and I am especially thankful that the pumpkin cheesecake came out so well.
I am thankful that the grocery store still had bags of food for the Food Bank that I bought yesterday to be distributed to someone who isn't lucky enough to have what I have. Because sometimes, that's all it is - not skill or talent or lack thereof, but just luck.
I am thankful for my health and for the health of everyone around me.
I am thankful that soon my laundry will be done and I will be able to fully surrender to the food coma. Delicious.
Happy thanksgiving!
Last week was very sad for a lot of reasons*. First, I was sick all week, miserable, congested and grumpy. Second, because of the sickness, I had horrible cabin fever, even though Joe came over on Tuesday and Wednesday and took good care of me, and I was ready to crawl out of my own skin all week. Third, I came to the conclusion that I need to try to sell my car.
My car's name is Detroit. I know, that's a weird name for a BMW, but that's his name. His full name is Detroit, The Ghetto Beemer. He's not really ghetto, but people were always saying to me, "You drive a BMW?!?" And they were all shocked and amazed and stuff because BMWs are supposed to be these super expensive cars and, while Detroit is awesome, he's really much more like a really, really nice Honda than a BMW.
Once upon a time he was a really expensive car. He was purchased by my aunt in 1989 after she divorced my uncle. I like to think of Detroit as her Emancipation Car**. When Detroit was built, he was top of the line: all leather interior, 5-CD changes (in the 80s, people!), automatic windows and doors and seats, moon roof, a trunk that could fit a family of four and all kinds of other awesome features. I adopted Detroit in 2002 when I was working for Uncle Ted and needed a car to get me to and from the campaign after Nena The Luft Camry died***. He has been a fabulous car ever since, getting me to and fro and all that good stuff.
So why do I want to sell him? Well, Detroit isn't really from Detroit. He's from Germany. And finding all the German parts to fix him is sometimes very expensive. More expensive than I can afford. He deserves someone who will put the time and effort and money into keeping him the fabulous car that he is. So this weekend, I fixed him up and cleaned him out and put the For Sale sign up. I don't want a new car (or, really, a new used car), but I think it's time Detroit and I go our separate ways.
If you would like to give Detroit a good home or know someone who might like to adopt him, please let me know. Here are his most recent pictures. He has one cracked headlight and the driver's side visor is a little broken (or, rather, maybe the arm is a little broken), but his engine works great and everything else on him has been checked up by the doctor at the German car shop, fixed, spit polished and given an A+ seal of approval. And, on top of all of that, he's never even been in an accident. That's how much I love my poor Detroit.
Please help me find Detroit a nice home. Or at least wish me luck. This looks like it's going to be another hard week (or month or however long it takes). Poor guy.
*This is not counting the election. That was very happy. Yay Democrats!
**That makes my uncle sound like a really bad guy. He's actually a very nice man, just not for my aunt.
*** Nena's death was very sad. I don't want to talk about it.
So I thought I had a rough week. But then today happened and I realized this week was really just leading up to the fun of today. Huzzah.
Monday was the big Halloween party for work, with 1000 tiny costumed children coming through our doors. I greeted people most of the day, constantly exclaiming, "Jinkies! What a cool costume!" And then the kids looked at me like I was insane and the parents were all, "oh, I get it, Velma!" And then there were the dads that made the inappropriate comments - apparently, there are more men out there with Velma fantasies than one might assume...
Tuesday my back kind of went out. I couldn't get out of bed in the morning, which made me miss my run. I actually ended up in bed, with my spandex pants and sports bra on, having some quality time with the heating pad instead of working out. And then I sneezed and my knees buckled and I fell over. That was all before 8am. I will not tell you about the rest of the day because it's just more of the same.
The event I've been working on for the last couple of months was on Wednesday and it was totally fabulous. All of the guests seemed very happy and we exceeded our fundraising goal by almost 30%, which kind of totally rocks. I am refusing to focus on anything else about the event at this point because thinking about it just hurts.
Thursday and Friday were days filled with paperwork and numbers and me wondering why I was in the office when all I wanted was to sleep forever. I am still wondering why I was in the office those days. Silly paperwork and receipts and filing and stuff. But my back kind of stopped hurting so much, so that was nice.
And then, today. Oh, today. The first time in 14 days that I haven't gone into the office. I ran for an hour, then had a lovely, healthy, homemade breakfast. I finally got my act together to go to the pharmacy and Trader Joe's for soap and food and all those good things. But, you see, when I came out of Rite Aid, I noticed a piece of the front panel of my car had fallen off. I tried to put it back to no avail. So I kept trying until I started freaking out because, hi, I'm in the Rite Aid parking lot and my car is falling apart. And did I mention that it was raining? And I was soaking wet? I got into the car to think through how I was going to deal with that when a lady pulled up next to me and opened her car door right into the side of my car. And then, after she hit my car, she looked at me, smirked, and walked inside. Oh, my God, people, do you know the kind of restraint it takes to not hurt someone at this point?
I fixed the panel (With duct tape! From Rite Aid!), managed not to kill the woman parked next to me and came home, with soap, but without lovely groceries. I furiously cleaned the house top to bottom to get out my frustrations and distract myself from the fact that poor Detroit might be on his last legs and oh my God, I don't have money to get a new - sorry, a new to me, used, different than Detroit - car.
Joe then came over, we went to QFC and came home for dinner. Of course, I tripped on the very clean rug in the kitchen, sending my dinner flying across the dining room. What was my dinner? Lentil soup. Do you know how much lentil soup looks like poop, especially when it's flung across your house, soaking into your freshly cleaned carpet?
After I cleaned up the lentil soup/bunny poop mess and decided dinner was not meant to be, I made peanut butter and splenda cookies. I am surprised I didn't burn myself or somehow managed to burn the house down because, for real, that would fit with my day. I'm just trying to go to bed as fast as possible to avoid more horrors. Stop me before I hurt again.
Kristen made me a snake scarf.
Please meet Al Gore Jr. Jr.
Hiss!
Costume found! Velma, here I come!
The final tally:
Sweater: $4.99
Tights: $5.99
Skirt and glasses: $9.96
Winning the work costume contest: Totally and completely pricessless, like whoa!
I think if there was an 8th dwarf in Snow White, he would have been Stressed Out Dwarf. He would be the dwarf who refused to whistle while he worked because he was too busy knitting his brows together and being pissed off at Grumpy because, really, Grumpy had no right to be so grumpy because, hello, he wasn't the one who was stressed out. Stressed Out Dwarf would be the one who got all of the other dwarfs to work on time and did the dishes when no one else wanted to and never left his dirty clothes in a pile on the floor.
Projecting? Why, yes, I am. I am, in fact, probably a direct descendant of Stressed Out Dwarf. Work has been slightly insane lately and has slowly taken over the rest of my life. Working 10 hour days? Working weekends? Working in my dreams, which have slowly become nightmares of all of the things that could go wrong at my upcoming event? Yes. These are all things that have become things that I do. All the time. In the last week, I worked close to 70 hours and those were just the hours in the office. This coming week is looking no better and I still have 9 days until my event, so next week will be more of the same. I'm thinking things will finally slow down around mid-November; my event will be over, the 2007 calendar should be at the printer (if not in the mail) and the parent fundraising letters should be out. Then it will just be planning for the next event, organizing the new exhibit opening, creating the end of the year solicitation and producing the gift club brochure. Actually, now that I wrote that down, I fear that the next time I will actually be free of work related dreams is when I die.
For joy.
I've tried to get my mind off work this weekend by putting together my Halloween costume. We have a members-only Halloween party on the 30th and, though my event is two days later, I'll probably spend a couple of hours on the floor that day helping out. We're also having a staff costume competition and we all know how I get about competitions. I'm finally putting together my Velma costume and, really, one would think orange tights would be the difficult part. But, really, it's the skirt. Where does one find a red skirt? In the past week, I've gone to: Nordstrom Rack, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Khols, Macy's, JC Penny, Value Village, Fred Meyer, Old Navy, the Gap and Goodwill. Nary a red skirt in sight, people. I found one online at AA and if I can't find anything tomorrow after hours, I'm going to cave and order it. It's a sweat skirt, so I'm sure I'll get some non-Velma use out of it. But, seriously. We went through the same thing when we did the Scooby Doo sketch in college and three years later, there are still no red skirts. Whores. Or, I guess, lack of whores. Because if whores ran the world, there would be far more red skirts. Mmm. Whores.
Also, to make my day more frustrating, I got a call this morning asking me to help organize a lunch at the Museum for 250 people. And Al Gore. Al Gore! Me and Al! Hanging out! Alas, we have a traveling exhibit in the space that we use for large events and there's nowhere else on site that can hold that many people (seated). I offered to help find them another space - it's for Wednesday, which is crazy short notice, but I'm hoping that if I help, Al and I can finally meet and talk about saving the world together. What are the chances, people?
And now I am going to curl up with my Trader Joe's eggplant parmesan and some bad cable. These things make Stressed Out Dwarf less stressed out. Or at least full and sleepy. Either way.
